Sunday, 26 November 2017

Designer Beards and Spandex

I woke up this morning feeling much better, as my normal was catching up after such a stressful journey down. It was an early start as I had to get to Hayfields Bible Chapel in Pietermaritzburg by the 9:30am family service. I know I am a stickler for the old country Brethren upbringing.

Since the early start, I stopped at Gillitts for coffee. Just turning off the highway at the Hillcrest offramp was like driving into another dimension, white people everywhere. Yes, I hardly saw any white people in Durban. Even the night I arrived at Glenwood, where I was staying following my GPS I was taken into some dodgy areas with prostitutes on every corner and seedy looking potential drug suppliers lurking in the shadows. Arriving in Gillitts, there was joggers and cyclists doing their Sunday normal. It only dawned on me when standing in the queue between a skinny tall blonde haired lady with sparkling white teeth and a hipster sporting his designer beard and spandex cycling shorts. I carefully looked around, I was surrounded by only white people. Toto, I don’t think we are in South Africa any more.


This Assagay, Bothas Hill, Gillitts, and Hillcreast bubble is not normal yet they seem to be living normal. I mean even Assagay is spelt incorrectly, Ass-a-gay, what happened to Assegai the Zulu short spear. So I quickly continued inland towards Pietermaritzburg and while passing Camperdown, I had to pull over to the side of the highway to witness a flock of about 30 yellow billed kites gathering at a termite emergence. I was in awe watching these raptors swooping and catching the tiny flying ants by the wings and eating all in flight. The spectacular flying displays of what could be the bird's version of a sardine run bait ball was mesmerising. What is happening, nothing seems normal in this place. Please pinch me.

I arrived at Hayfields, a little early and there was already a lot of cars in the parking lot so I walk into the main chapel hall and no-one, I saw nobody. I looked outside at all the cars then back inside, what did I miss the rapture? Oh no I don’t want to be left behind as nothing is normal anymore. Then I heard a faint sound coming from the room in the back, after peering in, ahhh how can I forget, breaking of bread with the faithful.

It was good seeing all the old folks and also the young folks that I grew up with, now looking old too. Interesting was today’s sermon by Paul Greeve, oh yes he is looking much older than I remembered, but his wife Dorothy hasn’t aged at all. I must say Dorothy reads my blog, thank you for your kind words today. Anyway I digress, Paul’s message was about what is normal. He used the scripture from Mark 1 verses 1 to 20 about this man living up in the graveyard. He cut himself a lot and was troubled by some bad spirits. When he saw Jesus, he ran to him as begged for help. To cut the story short, Jesus cast out a lot of evil spirits from the man into about 2,000 pigs whom then ran into the sea and killed themselves. Paul was asking what is normal, the troubled man asking for help, or the Jewish pig herders and the Jewish pig owners who then asked Jesus to leave as he caused enough trouble to disturb the normal.

Rabbi be gone. Thy powers brings loss to us. Our ways are not thine. Thou lovest men, we swine.

So what is normal, men sporting designer beards and cycling spandex shorts? Next is I wear speedos, no don’t Google that. Okay now back to normal, here is my best friend Robbie and his brother in law Kevin braaing up in misty Hilton. Nou gaan ons braai as nothing is as normal as it seems.

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