Designer Beards and Spandex

I woke up this morning feeling much better, as my normal was catching up after such a stressful journey down. It was an early start as I had to get to Hayfields Bible Chapel in Pietermaritzburg by the 9:30am family service. I know I am a stickler for the old country Brethren upbringing.

Since the early start, I stopped at Gillitts for coffee. Just turning off the highway at the Hillcrest offramp was like driving into another dimension, white people everywhere. Yes, I hardly saw any white people in Durban. Even the night I arrived at Glenwood, where I was staying following my GPS I was taken into some dodgy areas with prostitutes on every corner and seedy looking potential drug suppliers lurking in the shadows. Arriving in Gillitts, there was joggers and cyclists doing their Sunday normal. It only dawned on me when standing in the queue between a skinny tall blonde haired lady with sparkling white teeth and a hipster sporting his designer beard and spandex cycling shorts. I carefully looked around, I was surrounded by only white people. Toto, I don’t think we are in South Africa any more.

 

This Assagay, Bothas Hill, Gillitts, and Hillcreast bubble is not normal yet they seem to be living normal. I mean even Assagay is spelt incorrectly, Ass-a-gay, what happened to Assegai the Zulu short spear. So I quickly continued inland towards Pietermaritzburg and while passing Camperdown, I had to pull over to the side of the highway to witness a flock of about 30 yellow billed kites gathering at a termite emergence. I was in awe watching these raptors swooping and catching the tiny flying ants by the wings and eating all in flight. The spectacular flying displays of what could be the bird's version of a sardine run bait ball was mesmerising. What is happening, nothing seems normal in this place. Please pinch me.

I arrived at Hayfields, a little early and there was already a lot of cars in the parking lot so I walk into the main chapel hall and no-one, I saw nobody. I looked outside at all the cars then back inside, what did I miss the rapture? Oh no I don’t want to be left behind as nothing is normal anymore. Then I heard a faint sound coming from the room in the back, after peering in, ahhh how can I forget, breaking of bread with the faithful.

It was good seeing all the old folks and also the young folks that I grew up with, now looking old too. Interesting was today’s sermon by Paul Greeve, oh yes he is looking much older than I remembered, but his wife Dorothy hasn’t aged at all. I must say Dorothy reads my blog, thank you for your kind words today. Anyway I digress, Paul’s message was about what is normal. He used the scripture from Mark 1 verses 1 to 20 about this man living up in the graveyard. He cut himself a lot and was troubled by some bad spirits. When he saw Jesus, he ran to him as begged for help. To cut the story short, Jesus cast out a lot of evil spirits from the man into about 2,000 pigs whom then ran into the sea and killed themselves. Paul was asking what is normal, the troubled man asking for help, or the Jewish pig herders and the Jewish pig owners who then asked Jesus to leave as he caused enough trouble to disturb the normal.

Rabbi be gone. Thy powers brings loss to us. Our ways are not thine. Thou lovest men, we swine.

So what is normal, men sporting designer beards and cycling spandex shorts? Next is I wear speedos, no don’t Google that. Okay now back to normal, here is my best friend Robbie and his brother in law Kevin braaing up in misty Hilton. Nou gaan ons braai as nothing is as normal as it seems.

All Aboard

After church, we went to Papachinos for some lunch and family time before rushing off to Lanseria so that Hilton can catch his flight back to Cape Town. After saying goodbyes, Lynda and I watched from the viewing lounge, as dad was wheeled into the waiting aeroplane.

Close Encounters

It is the last weekend that Lynda’s dad, Hilton, will be with us as he flies back to Cape Town tomorrow. To make the most of this sad weekend, we took dad on a picnic at his happy place here in Johannesburg, the Botanical Gardens just below our house.

We found a nice shady spot not too far from the waterfall and settled down for some serious picnicking and resting the eyes. But it wasn’t long before we were joined by a pair of guineafowls who wanted to share our picnic.

It turned out to be a lovely day, close encounters with guineafowls, a poisonous grasshopper circling us, a robin and a pair of other unknown birds who were jealous of the guineafowls, a tortoise and another.

Golden Slipper

Oh my why is this lady who I later found out was Marie, trying to see if a golden slipper could fit on Hilton’s foot? It is not such a long story, so here goes. Lynda arranged for her dad to get a manicure and pedicure before he heads back to Cape Town and the best appointment that she could get was at Dischem in Clearwater at midday. But somehow I heard Dischem at Princess Crossing, so I arrived at the wrong Dischem a little early only to be disappointed. After a phone call, I got the right address and had to rush over to Clearwater.

I made it in time and that is where we met Marie and her friend admiring some art slippers, after some prompting, Marie agreed to get on her knees and try on Hilton’s foot the golden slipper. Good laughs were had by all. Hilton’s appointment with Linda, the beauty technician, was about to start. I tried to stay but I had to wonder off and leave Hilton in the capable hands of Linda. I came back just over an hour later to find Hilton walking on air after all the pampering he had received.

Witpoortjie Falls

The weather looked good with afternoon thundershowers to cool the day down later so we decided to take Lynda’s dad, Hilton, to the Botanical Gardens just below our home.

Matthew was a blessing as he became very useful as a wheelchair pusher as it became hot in the narrow valley leading up to the 70m Witpoortjie falls. Both the grand old Black Eagle Emoyeni and her young mate Thulane were nowhere to be seen but just the peacefulness of the place was more than enough.

Noel Noel

Come and see what God has done.

With still a few items to buy on our Christmas list, we took a break from the Christmas rush to bring it back to what Christmas is all about, the amazing story of love and grace that brought hope back into the world. This hope was reminded to us as the Soweto Gospel Choir led us at BBC in a time of reflection and hope.

Afterwards we went to Montecasino for a small family supper in the courtyard while children played in the fountains. Although there was the busyness of all the traditional Christmas decorations everywhere we looked, God was far from many here at Monte as we huddled in our little family group. Matthew and I witnessed a couple in full drunken altercation in the parking lot with security guards tearing them apart. Where was the hope that God promised, the peace that we sang about a few hours earlier.

Noel Noel

Settling In

For an octogenarian, Hilton, Lynda’s dad, is settling in nicely after his long flight yesterday. He arrived onto the patio ready for breakfast at the crack of ten after a good night sleep on the hospitality rated bed that we put into the guest room. Minky with no skaams just hoped onto his lap to welcome him home.

Later we were off shopping to the malls as Christmas is just a few days away.

Hilton Arrives

Lynda's dad, Hilton arrived today from Cape Town to stay a few weeks up here with us. The guest bedroom is all prepared and ready. We are just about ready for the Christmas holidays, well nearly ready with some late Christmas shopping still to be done.

Thanks to Custom Couches our new couches arrived on Monday, a surprise to us as we were only expecting them next year. Okay the large cushions are still to come, but still it was way before the due date. Now instead of an empty family room, Lynda's dad has something to sit on.

DMX Temptations

I felt much better this morning after a good night’s rest with an overdose of headache pills. Today is good as a holiday as today is the DMX Conference which is to be held in the Hilton Hotel, Sandton. The three photos below where taken of some of the many Japanese masks found at the restaurant. Interesting as we always find ourselves hiding behind masks.

I suppose my aim is still the MozCon but I have to settle for something closer to home until that time I would be able to go to that not so typical marketing conference. So here we are listening to different speakers on Digital Marketing picking up a few new ideas and also to confirm that we are on the right track.

Okay there was no Google represented, nor was there a Rand Fishkin but some speakers did stand out, Scott Cundill and his Fire and Forget idea but where could we use it, Lynette Hundermark on mobile tends and opportunities, Ryan Hogarth and his off the cuff without technical aids talk, and then there was Dylan Kohlstadt which I could swear is my friend Delia’s doppelgänger.

Well anyway being the Hilton, the lunch would be perfect temptations although as you can see the salad before me which is what the doctor ordered even with all the delicious sweets on display. Okay, okay I can’t tell a lie I did cheat but aren’t going to show those photos.

Mc Nab

There has been a drought of some sorts in KwaZulu-Natal since last summer and we decided to travel back up to Johannesburg towing an open trailer with Lynda’s stuff that remained after the sale of her house. Just as we were about to leave soft rain started falling. We said our goodbyes and took the final photos of the Mc Nab family, Greg, Hilton, and Lynda, before braving a soft drizzle. The light rain lasted well up into the midlands. It was looking like it wasn’t our day but eventually the clouds lifted and so did our spirits as the rain stopped.

After Harrismith our hopes were dashed as the clouds burst open but we just pressed on that was until the traffic came to a standstill from an earlier accident. While waiting for the traffic to clean, the clouds added insult to injury by spitting hail down upon us.

Once passed Villiers the traffic cleared up along with the rain as this too became a distant memory.

Twenty Five Minutes to Five

Don’t take the clock on the wall on face value as every clock in the house has stopped ticking although not all at twenty minutes to nine but at different times. I am starting to think that I am stuck in Ms Havishams’ Satis House, where all the clocks had stopped but you can't stop time—or mildew, mold, and mice.

The words of Pip from The Great Expectations rang through my head “It was when I stood before her, avoiding her eyes, that I took note of the surrounding objects in detail, and saw that her watch had stopped at twenty minutes to nine, and that a clock in the room had stopped at twenty minutes to nine.”

But I wasn’t standing in front of Ms Havisham, but Mr Mc Nab, Lynda’s nearly octogenarian dad, and here time hadn’t stopped stop but was going backwards or could I sadly say downhill. After Lynda’s mom crossed over to heaven last year this four bedroom house plus cottage is both stuck in time and destroyed by time. Time is now to stop the backward slide, wind up the clocks or put fresh new batteries in, and start getting this place back into time. And to start living again.

“So!" she said, without being startled or surprised; "the days have worn away, have they?”