Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Blind with Fear

Music from Zach Williams is playing in the background. The sun is getting low through the blinds in the lounge. The words, ...Fear, he is a liar, he will take your breath. Stop you in your steps... comes out of the speakers. What fear is a liar? 

I stopped the video track, re-winded and played the song from the beginning. Oh I am not sure I can use the word re-wind any more, well any way you know what I mean. I watched the images of a girl coming home, her mom angry because she is late. A man reading his termination notice. A lady getting the results from her cancer tests. It these times when fear tells you that you are not beautiful. You are not worthy. You are not loved. The scenes of the music video become more sombre as the young girl starts to write her suicide note. The man sits in his car and starts the engine in a locked garage. And the woman is lost in fear of her future.

It is the sms from her mother, You are beautiful. It is the loving touch of his wife that stops him. It is the care basket anonymously dropped at her door that gives her hope that she is not alone. His Grace never changes as a tear runs down my cheek. Sorry very confusing post but watch the video Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams. And then this happened...
A poem is shared with me on social and I am blown away. I just have to share with you. It is writeen by Abdullah Shoaib.

ʎʇʇǝɹԀ Ugly

I'm very ugly
So don't try to convince me that
I am a very beautiful person
Because at the end of the day
I hate myself in every single way
And I'm not going to lie to myself by saying
There is beauty inside of me that matters
So rest assured I will remind myself
That I am a worthless, terrible person
And nothing you say will make me believe
I still deserve love
Because no matter what
I am not good enough to be loved
And I am in no position to believe that
Beauty does exist within me
Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think
Am I as ugly as people say?

(Now read bottom up)

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