Doom to keep your Virginity

Well who can’t argue that this is the sign of the times here in South Africa. The silly season is well in progress and the year well must simply end now. On Friday, my second cousin was tragically killed in a motor accident at the young age of 25. The scary thought is that it is the same age that his dad died, also tragically at the age of 25. This annus horribilis must end already.

The first well the little town of Krugersdorp out here on the West Rand of Johannesburg has only one large gym and that gym in Virgin Active. Yeah I know an oxymoron as if a virgin were active; he or she wouldn’t be a virgin no more. Anyways now Krugersdorp is getting competition in form of Planet Fitness, hence the sign that Krugersdorp is soon to lose its virginity, BOOM!

As for the next sign, well a few weeks back a story broke out here in South Africa, of a pastor from the sticks of Limpopo who used a brand of insect spray called Doom to cast out evil spirits when he sprayed it into congregants' faces. And now this church in Krugersdorp, the Valley Family Church, states that they don’t use the Doom spray, they just prevent men going to their doom.

Maybe a spray of Doom will keep Krugersdorp from losing their virginity.