Umbrellas on the Range

Home, home on the range,
Where the guineafowl wake you up in the mornings,
Where the cattle men herd their cattle under umbrellas,
And balmy summer afternoon storms are refreshing.

Whoa, rewind there a little bit mate, what do you mean guineafowl wake you up in the mornings and above all why do cattle men carry umbrellas?

You try getting some Saturday sleep in with this entire racket of wild gineafowl. It seems that they never stop making a squawking “buck-wheat, buck-wheat, chi, chi, chi…” Maybe because some cat is stalking them not knowing that the warning has already gone out that she has already been spotted. Just shut up and let me sleep, please.

And the umbrellas? Well you try herding cattle in the blazing African sun all day with little shade, only to be thanked by heavy afternoon storms. Welcome to the African veldt with its umbrellas on the range.