Conspiracy against me

Yes, it is a conspiracy, I say, as both Sophia and Suzette have it in for me. Like what did I do now that peeved them off so much that they resort to conspire against me. Did I miss an anniversary or birthday? Or worse still, forgot to wash them or bring them flowers? Yesterday evening when leaving Marilyn's place, Sophia's rear tyre was flat. Yes pup flat, luckily Marilyn and her sister kindly took Sophia and I home in the back of her Mercedes Vito. Oh so undignified, a Vespa in the back of a van.

That was Sophia. This morning it was Suzette's turn to punish me for some unknown misdemeanor. Yes I tried to start Suzette this morning and she presented me with a very flat battery. What's all this flat business, uhmph! Well I tried to push start her by myself but no joy. Then I went off to find the labourers who are normally tending the gardens or building but no-one was to be found so I ended up phoning the neighbours for a jump start. Thank you Jacqueline for coming out in your dressing gown to help a poor boy in distress. I hope Sophia and Suzette were watching beautiful Jacque and taking notes.

Coming to think about what happened last night and this morning, maybe they both Sophia and Suzette want equal attention but how with four dogs also seeking my affection. They flat out of luck , now it seems like I am getting the silent treatment.