Zombie Dog

A few weeks ago, we bought this professional water based body paint to test on Maxy, our Italian Greyhound. After positive results and no side effects, we painted Maxi this morning for the Geek Fest Pet Parade. He sat still while Matthew and I administered the white paint to depict bones and the outcome was successful although when dry the paint started rubbing off.

There was so many surprised looks as Maxy played the part well as he pounced around like a dog skeleton with every zombie there wishing that they had a zombie dog just like Maxy.

Lybius Torquatus

On Day Twelve, all I asked was the head of the CEO of Cell C, Alan Knott-Craig, but all I got was the head of a Lybius Torquatus or the Black-collared Barbet. Well not quite, remember that I find cats evil because not one is found in the good book. So arriving at work this morning, I found that the feral cats at our work left me a gift, the head and claws of this barbet. Maybe the cats heard of my plight and sympathised by bringing me the head of what they can. Next the head of Alan Knott-Craig, maybe cats do have a purpose.

Clarification

Day Eleven of no cellphone, and I am starting to see the woods from the trees. Is there a saying like that? Uhmm I am even starting to doubt myself now. My man-flu has subsided to a post-natal drip, sorry post-nasel, blame my dyslexia. Cell C has finally sent me a quote. Okay I am going to digress here a little, what the heck is up with Cell C's stupid call centre?

After umpteen times of push 1 push two I was about to lose it. It went something like this... Push 1 if you are a Cell C customer or push 2 if you are a new customer. Push 1 to input you cellphone number or push 2 if you want to input your ID number. Push 1 to input your cellphone number or push # if you don’t have a number. You have entered in 084 XXX XXXX, if this is correct push 1. We are experiencing a high call rate (Utter nonsense as very few people get this far) and an operator will tend to you shortly. Please be aware that we may not have someone that can speak your language. Hello this is XXXX, how can I help you. Can I please have your phone number? (What? Don't you already have it?) No it is not shown on the system. (Then why did I have to input it earlier?)

I have to then verify myself before they try to put me through to the repair centre. This process if it gets this far takes about 20 minutes. Cell C has the worse call centre procedures. Okay now that was a large ramble, now back to where I was.

I finally got a quote from Cell C to repair my cellphone 11 days after handing it in, wow. Eleven, 11 days for a quote. Anyway I sent the quote to MiWay Insurance and it was approved for repairs in less than 5 minutes. I then phoned through the approval through to Cell C (Oh yes had to go through that whole processes through the call centre a number of times again). According to Cell C, I should have my phone back by the end of next week. Way to go Cell C, a big raspberry to you and a big thumbs up to MiWay.

Oh today's photo, well Lynda always say that I never take decent photographs of her so here is one, taken this afternoon. As you can see there is a lot going on in this photo but the main focus is good looking Lynda. And that folks is my Day Eleven.

Waldeinsamkeit

Medicated and the piles of work that never ends stacked in my to-do list, I was starting to feel a little light headed. The work, the desks and people around me became distance while a feeling of waldeinsamkeit started creeping up on me. Not that beautiful feeling of being alone in the woods but more of a lost sensation while the wood of the trees were starting to blur. I took this photo while at Danfoss after work to try get my mind back to earth. No getting lost here.

Five Months

It has been five months since the speedometer cable was replaced and this morning it broke again on the way to work. Sigh! That is two speedometer cables in the last 11,000 kilometres. Day Nine without my cellphone has not been a good day.

Pink Delia

Day Eight's Blue Monday became Pink Monday, as Delia who normally dresses in dark colours arrived accessorised in pink. Pink bag, pink lunchbox, pink water bottle, pink jersey, pink cellphone, and everything in pink, except the black.

Waste of a Weekend

Here I was in my bed for the whole weekend including Friday, no not that type of fun bed but the sick bed as I have full blown man-flu. It is Day Seven since I handed my cellphone over to Cell C for repairs and now that is far in the back of my mind as I now have to contend with a congested sinus, headaches and coughing as cabin fever was starting to set in.

It was warm outside and I had to get some fresh air, even for a short while. So I took my dogs for a slow shuffle around Emmarentia with lots of stops. I took this photograph while recuperating under a tree next to the spring in upper Emmarentia. While Podge was exploring the stream, Jade was forever trying to get onto my lap, Maxy and Patch keep watch as usual, and Skye wanted to play with everyone.

Flowers for Spring

It was an overcast month end weekend morning and I had to head for the mall even in my man flu state. I had barely the strength to take this photo while in the bank. How considerate of them to put out fresh cut flowers for me. If the lack of cellphone or flu doesn't kill me the pollen will. Ahhh spring is nearly upon us here in Joziland. Okay you can survive Day Six was all that kept me going through the morning until I managed to get back to bed and sleep all afternoon. Who cares about no cellphone communication when all you want is to sleep. Sorry dogs I will walk you tomorrow.

Reflections of Me

All drugged up and nowhere to go but back to bed. Yes I am high on medicine to help this against this flu and I arrive at work this morning all ready but within a few hours the drugs start to wear off and I had to head back home again to crash. Here I am on Day Five, high of my meds contemplating my reflection in the glass doors. Bring me back my cellphone, now.

Lonely Chair Under The Tree

Day Four: With this lack of cellphone induced depression, the man flu has snuck up on me and pounced. Wham, a spell of man flu is in order. This depression doesn't stand a change, but I do feel all alone. Like this solitary plastic chair I saw on a sidewalk under a tree with no leaves in Houghton today. There is not much shade under that tree but the winter sun isn't that harsh at this time of year. Now with this man flu right at the end of winter is not right, I just feel like crawling into a little hole and wanting to be all alone. Sort of how this chair must feel, if it can feel anything.

Day Three Withdrawal

It is Day Three since my sudden stopping the use of my cellphone due to it having a broken screen. It started with the sweating, twitching and always looking for messages on an imaginary cellphone. Now the depression is starting to set in. Here is the view from the bathroom cubicle at work, depressing isn't it?

Pink Shoe Shine

I am going through Ingress withdrawal symptoms as it is Day Two without a cellphone. At lunch time, I had to go into the bank because my online bank needed my cellphone to transact. I had to change it all. Near the bank I found this One Time Shoe Shine in front of a shocking pink mural trying enticing shopping, not.

Nokia Rubbish Cell C

My Samsung Galaxy found itself falling off my desk onto the hard cold floor. My bottom lip was trembling as I watched the LCD display colours starting to mix into each other. It was alright at first as I knew I was covered by insurance so I phoned MiWay Insurance and they requested to take it to Cell C with whom I have a contract with to get a quote for repair or replacement.

Now that is where my problem went south. Armed with my claim number from MiWay, I took my broken cellphone to Cell C in Norwood, the closest franchise to my work. At first they said that they didn't have any phones that I could use as a replacement while my phone was in getting a quote. After kicking up a stink, they found a piece of rubbish called a Nokia X2-01. How do they expect me to work with that? To add fuel to the fire, the small print says that they can take up to 21 days to fix which means I am paying Cell C for a smart phone plus extra data and they give me rubbish.

The light is dimming fast for Cell C. Like their data, they offer such cheap service because they don't have any. Plus MiWay Insurance should have a replacement phone policy while your one is being repaired or replaced. MiWay is Your Way, sa foot.

Sushi Bonding

Every now and then, Matthew and I have this sushi bonding sessions so after BBC, Matthew and I trekked over to Tataki in Boksburg. It is over some good sushi that father and son did a lot of catching up.

Miracle Whip

This afternoon we joined a group of friends at Broadlands for a burger braai. As usual, Craig and Anel went all out and set out an awesome spread. Sometime in the afternoon, Matthew found the Clover Whipped Cream and sneaked off to enjoy his find. Here he is sitting on the boundary wall with the can of whipped cream.

Kryolan Body Paint

And there I was, walking into the professional make-up shop, Kryolan, looking like really out of place and this young shop assistant sweetly asked me if she could help me. "Yes, thank you," I replied "I am looking for some make-up for my dog." Her startled look said it all, "You are joking?" she barely got out. Maybe she thought I was being disrespectful towards my wife or girlfriend. "No really, I need some body paint for my dog," I boldly declared, "white, no toxic body paint that won't smudge and irritate my dog's skin."The assistant's shocked replay was "Serious?" "Yes serious, I need to test paint a skeleton on my black Italian Greyhound to see if it is going to work and how it is going to affect my dog," I affirmed my initial request while at the same time picking up the assistants jaw off the ground.

My aim is to enter Maxy into the Geek Fest Pet Dress up as a skeleton. Well he has the right shape and I promise I will be careful with the paint.

Now You See Me

It has been a long time since I've seen a decent movie that kept me thinking who done it till the very end. This evening I went to watch the movie "Now You See Me" with my friends at Montecasino and I must say I really enjoyed it. Here is my good friend Craig after the movie with a stuffed dog, let's hope his cat Data doesn't see him now.

Any way back to the movie. Now I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, so I will just say one thing, Kansas City Shuffle. No that was three things, aaah, my producer just informed me that was from another movie that I liked. Okay a slight of hand and the four horsemen rob a bank. Go see the movie. So we all know that there are five horsemen of the Apocalypse so who was the fifth had me guessing though out the entire movie and I still didn't get it right, just like Lucky Number Slevin.

Pick n Pay Inspired O Hel You

I had to pop into the mall over lunch to restock the home for the week. I always dread going to the Pick n Pay at Norwood Mall as the queues are forever long and the staff always surly. After buying a few things I joined the long queue for the under 10 items only and that is when my eye caught the embroidery on the bib of a Pick n Pay employee. What supposed to be "Inspired to help you" was changed to "Inspired O Hel You". It seems Pick n Pay's inflated costs are not all Pick n Pay's problems as a looming retrenchment are on the cards. Now I ask will their service get worse because of less staff? High prices and unsatisfied staff with dreadful service, inspired, hell no Pick n Pay.

What’s that Smell?

No, no smell but I am not sure why Nomangaliso was scrunching up her face as the next shot in she is smiling. Anyway I liked the face more as I don't have any with Noma pulling a face. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Skinny Malinky

Skinny Malinky longlegs
Big banana feet
Went tae the pikchurs
And fell throo the seat
Oot jump Maxy
Frae behind the wash

Siyabuswa

This morning after the second service at BBC, I found Gary and Dirk next to the Blankets and Maize trailer bound for Siyabuswa, a small town near Marble Hall in Mpumalanga. Siyabuswa was once the capital of the KwaNdebele in the 80s, now, well now it is the heart of the social economic development of the Hope for Africa Mission. BBC has partnered with Hope for Africa since 2011 and this winter it is the drive to supply 500 blankets and 12,000kg of maize for widows and orphans in Siyabuswa.

Winter’s Braai

The day after the cold front breezed through Gauteng, the weather has become warmer, so warm that a braai was in order. So I stoked up a good old fashion fire, Lynda rustled up some salads and the dogs, well here is Maxy showing how a braai is meant to be done, relaxing in the sun.

Cold Women's Day

Well what is a guy got to do on Women's Day with a cold front passing through? My first option on this freezing morning was roll over and go back to sleep. And that is what I did for most of the morning. I eventually crawled out of bed about lunch time as sun started peeping through the clouds. Let the day begin. I hope all women out there had a wonderful day today.

Picking Up Chicks

Warnings of snow are looming for the coming long weekend but that didn't stop a group of friends meeting at Montecasino for movies this evening. The movie chosen turned out to be the worse movie that I ever saw in the entire year so far, Pacific Rim rubbish. Anyway saving moment afterwards was that I got to pick up some chicks, yeah air punch moment!

Moses Group Technologies

After work I had to stop at Nedbank's Group Technologies in Sandton and as I climbed off my Vespa, imagine my surprise when my good friend Moses arrived after me and steps off his MotoMia. Now how did I forget that Moses works here. It has been a long time.

Avocado Cats

When it comes to toys for children and pets it is the least likely that become their favourite things. Take cardboard boxes, how much fun do children have out of boxes that their expensive presents came in. It is the same with my dogs and cats. There are two cardboard crates that the amazing avocadoes came in sitting on the kitchen counter and the cats joust for the best positions. Here are Lovely, Red, Kitty and Shadow all waiting for any snacks that may come from the making of lunch.

Dust Bowl Skye

Our garden has not lasted long with our energised Italian Greyhounds and Whippet. Along with the dry August winds, our garden is starting to resemble a bust bowl. Where is that promise of the summer African rains? Somehow this winter is going to end as I hear the distant roar of the lions. Soon I can turn and face the warm tears of summer as the thunder drowns out all, soon. Okay hurry now summer; don't keep us waiting as I throw another on another log onto the fire.

Release Nelson Mandela

It has been a month since I was last in Soweto and still Nelson Mandela is kept alive in hospital and still his house in Soweto is behind bars and still there are TV platforms along Vilakazi ready for the worse and still people are bringing well wishes to both this barred house and his home in Houghton. This time round the ANC has put but banners up and down Vilakazi Street as if is them who are making Madeba proud.

It has still been a long walk for Madeba since those words "comrades and fellow South Africans, I greet you all in the name of peace, democracy and freedom. I stand here before you not as a prophet, but as a humble servant of you the people" Get well Tata,you are a shinning light to all in this country.

Cops and Birthdays

Here is little Kiara sitting on her father's lap. Now this is one little girl that you shouldn't mess with as Kiara's dad is a policeman and he just turned 40. Michael turned the big FOUR OH yesterday and this afternoon Melissa, Michael's wife organised a surprise birthday party with family all the way from Durban and of course us friends. Happy birthday Mickey Mike, oh sorry now where did I go wrong, ((scratching my ears)) uhmm oh Mikey Mike.

Elephants Go Tromp Tromp Tromp

Yes it is my weekend once again with Matthew and our weekend together starts with me driving across to the East Rand to pick him up. On the drive back to the northern suburbs our father and son time begins. I managed to get a photo of Matthew, shot from the hip so to speak, telling me some elephant jokes.

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance".

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a cherry?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: How do you hide an elephant?
A: Paint its toe nails red and put it in a cherry tree.

Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking cherries.

Q: How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
A: Two in the front, two in the back and the trunks in the boot.

Q: How do you get the fifth elephant into the mini?
A: Tell the two in the back to move up.

Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini?
A: None. It's full of elephants.

And the elephant jokes where a fad when I was young and it is nice to listen to Matthew telling me elephant jokes that originated from the 60s. Ah such memories.

Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.

Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can't close the door.

Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
A: There's an empty Mini parked outside.

Keeping Noma Warm

Winter has been chilly but not as cold as previous winters but coldish as it is didn't stop Nomangaliso feeling the cold. Yes we would love to crank up the air conditioner but then along with the toasty heat comes those pesky germs. Anyway culturally, can I write that? Uhmm, well culturally Noma feels the cold more than the others in the office so she wraps her legs with a blanket and keeps a heater close at hand. PS notice the boots. Yes boots made for walking all over this cold.